Sunday, May 07, 2006 @7:09 AM
i'm pissed. 'cos of SS. i thought it was postponed but anyway we tried to finish up most of the stuff tonight. yep. i hate group projects. i HATE them. i like to work by myself but i know if i don't collaborate with other people, i'll never move with the times. freaking thing.
i can't stand it how people can just slash slash slash and their parents don't think there's anything wrong. sometimes i'm so fucked up i just wanna do that kind of thing too, but there's always something stopping me which makes me resort to exercise instead.
and the hits this year. i hate my life. i know i should be thankful for everything that i've got, but sometimes i wonder if they are burdens that i should just drop. av has lost its fun. i loved being a low status av rep, and i loved duty, so why aren't i loving my job? my ballet is going down the drain. all those years of practice, and i'm becoming so lousy. and tennis too. my hitting sucks more and more. everything that i do it's all average. nothing is ever tops. i hate that fact.
i hate myself. but i can't do anything about it 'cos of my family. for them, i have to control myself.
