just wanted to add. i have undergone pasta-fication.
i ate pasta for thursday lunch, thursday dinner, friday lunch, saturday breakfast, saturday lunch, saturday dinner.

good news everyone!
I PASSED MY ELECTONE EXAM!!
ok i would have put more exclamation marks, but i decided two is enough. but anyway. i actually passed! and plus, i missed my original goal of distinction by one A. sigh. each section has two sub-sections. yea. so..
repertoire (celebration): A, A
arrangement (if we hold on together): B, A
sightreading (donna donna): B, B [paiseh. i kept playing Gm as A7.]
hearing (c major. but the easier the key, the more difficult the melody. plus i freaked out.]: C, A
i thought they would moderate the marks. especially for hearing. actually i did hear the tune, i knew the tune, then when we had to play (we have to play exact speed, timing, blah blah) then i forgot. sheesh. but anyway. i wish i got my distinction. but i'm thankful for a PASS because i actually did quite bad on the real day. maybe examiners saw "potential" in me? no idea. I'M HAPPY I PASSED! oh and i never expected to get A for repertoire and arrangement. 'cos i made mistakes at the climax parts. )):
on another note. embarrassed myself horribly at alliance francais today. mom and pawpaw and i decided to lunch there after my lesson ('cos raining heavily) so we went to the cafe. and i wanted to order chicken bolognaise. so i went "can i have that chicken.. bowl-log-naise thing?" and i learnt at that place, btw. and the waitress didn't understand me. so my mom, who used to take french, chipped in and said "she wants to BOO-LONG-NESE." which is the correct pronounciation. i wanted to bury my head in my plate of bolognaise when it arrived, it was so paiseh. sheesh.


I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN 'COS I'M SO HAPPY!

when i was playing my electone today, just started to think. what if i fail my exam?
it's become very real to me. if i fail, i really wouldn't know what to do. should i continue to take electone or should i quit? sometimes i think, i've come so far, this is the end of the road for me, i can't go on. but other times i think, i can do it, just that i don't work well under stress. it's quite saddening actually, 'cos i've never let myself get affected by the stress. until this year's exam. now i just gotta wait for the results.
and oh. i feel kinda bad whenever i play piano songs on the electone. 'cos yea.. it's like i'm an electone player yet i am not playing electone songs. it just feels weird. sometimes i wonder if i'm more cut out for other music. and the arcade guitar. ((:
anyone here wants to be a member of http://frenchdudettes.blogspot.com ? just email me and then i'll send you the blog invitation. it's for french speakers, we want different standards to join so that the readers will get a larger exposure to french. yea.

i should be mugging, and yet i'm here blogging.
but today, i did do something really worthwhile. i did ONE THEME for ss. i know it isn't a lot, but my affinity with humanities isn't really good. to tell you the truth, i fell asleep for about ten minutes while in the library getting started on sri lanka. and i had this really bad migraine. i think it's lack of sleep 'cos i've been sleeping quite late these few days (late according to my standards, anyway) and then i always have to drag myself out of bed.
there are many many many things on my undone list!! i should start on bio since there're many terms to remember and i'm quite weak in two topics. transport in flowering plants and respiration. and i've actually improved my transport in man. ((: it's been a hectic few days. can die, but I'M TRYING TO LIVE IT ON!
ate sooooo much yesterday and today. i think i'll have gained back all the calories i burnt during ballet and before that. sigh.
oh. and talking about ballet! had lesson on sunday with ehui. dunno whether it was good or bad, 'cos in a way i was concentrating better, 'cos i had to rely on myself as i was the last person at the barre. but we did those pirouettes with the leg at the back, and i actually managed to do them! and then we did the PAS DE BOURREE thing. and the pirouettes from demi. i think they're damn fun. it tests your accuracy while preparing for a pirouette.
and oh. i still suck at the corner allegro work. can't figure out the steps and directions for NUTS.

went for french today. it was quite good. 'cos we did some stuff like compositions. one paragraph for a topic, then we jumped to another topic. will post the frenchie stuffs up soon. ((:
came home and slacked, then started mugging for chemistry. did almost nothing but chem today. IM LOVIN' CHEM! people don't say i'm crazy, but i just have this thing about liking chem. heh. and it's not 'cos of the teacher, it's 'cos of the SUBJECT! but anyway. i haven't started on maths, AT ALL. unless you count the two questions of mensuration i did on thursday. have to start practicing!
i'm addicted to some games. darn. and i have to spend money. DARN.
LOVESmilo dinosaur bubble tea with jelly!

spent quite a bit of time with my electone today. i love playing music on it. (: it's quite contradictory how i play quite well on my electone, yet when i'm in an exam i do so badly. sigh. results should be coming back to me around 7th oct. smack in the middle of my finals. if i get it back on the 7th, it'll be when i'm all alone again. all alone to counter the pain. or relish the joy. i was hoping that the examiners were able to see that i only played badly 'cos i was nervous, but i don't think that'll happen. sigh.
seventh october is gonna be a busy day. let's see..
1. melissa's birthday (:
2. mooncake festival thingy, although i'm not going.
3. electone resumes.
4. maths remedial.
5. french.
6. the would-be-performance, except that we've given up.
it's quite sad. i had wanted to give my all into one last performance for ppas. i still miss 2105 planet o like SHIT. i miss the times we went searching up down left right for skin coloured tights. in the end we just decided to perform without tights. it was uncomfortable, but at least we did it together. ((: fond memories.
it would have been interesting to learn non-western-hiphop dance. sigh.
on the other hand. i managed to cover preparation of salts for revision today! WHOO! i want to really do well for chemistry. it's my best science and i ought to do it justice. and i ought to become the one and only chemistry professional in my family. since we have economics, physics and maths expert, i should become the biology and chemistry expert. but i shall work hard to be a chemistry expert first 'cos mom isn't good at chem. HEH.
trying to do biology notes now. my memory is like an extremely leaky drain.

i am so gonna punch jamie chan if she makes such stupid mistakes during duty again. shall be nice enough not to post the list here. but anyway.
GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!
he made me such a studious person today i'm proud of myself! and that's why i'm guiltless here, blogging happily. (: hee. i actually did the notes for properties of acids and bases, kinematics, light ray diagrams and i copied out my amath 2005 paper! YEA! that's called POWER. it's amount of energy over time. or you could rephrase it as work done over time. ok i'm being physics-y here. so now.. i shall change to my biology mood!
YOU KNOW WHAT! today my bag hit my thorax! so pain can. lucky i had intercostal muscles and got ribcage.. if not i think my lung would have died and my alveoli and all inside would be useless. sigh.
ok i shall just stop crapping.

there's a reason why im so tense. it's 'cos whenever something bad happens i just put it away and never talk about it. when i finally do talk about it it hurts like real faeces. so yea. i don't wanna cry when i'm doing the exercises.

i feel stupid. couldn't do amaths and physics. the two "beautiful" subjects that i failed in semester one.
i'm getting very tired. wanna sleep already.
hmm. what do i have to say for today?
TIRED.
LOST MY NOTEBOOK.
HATE PEOPLE WHO STEAL MY STUFF. MY STUFF CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR BY ITSELF.
NICE BOTTLE MY BRO LENT ME. IT DOESN'T LEAK. (:
NO MORE HISTORY FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. A BREAK FROM RELIABILITY AND USEFULNESS.
ENGLISH FILE IN ALREADY. CONTENT PAGE-LESS.
je suis tres fatiguee.

from today onwards. ballet will be different.
i already miss the pre-elementary-and-elementary-ONLY class.
now with the additions of intermediate/advance, class will get huge and we'll probably have more difficult work. i still can't turn pirouettes properly. compared to the rest, it's like shit la. maybe i'm not cut out for this. darnnn.
i need black printer ink, correction tape, and a whole lot of motivation. still got the AV trainings haven't started. not planned. i think i'm gonna be so dead tomorrow. will probably die during remedial after school. plus got extra tuition next week, 'cos both alicia and i need more prac. damn.
i miss 2105 planet o. i miss the fairy monsters. i miss the intensive rehearsals. at this time last year, we would be have rehearsals every weekend after class and maybe some extra classes too. it helped me lose weight and destress. and now no more king cockroach, no more choreographer, three fairymonsters missing.. it seems like there's no one left now. they've all gone somewhere else or gone to further their studies.
)':

after reading a couple of blogs.
I REALIZE THAT I'M PROBABLY IN THE LOWEST 3% OF THE COHORT.
IN TERMS OF ACADEMIC RESULTS.
that's freaking lousy.
i want to work harddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
darn me la. i'm such an ass.
it's always like this! i always feel slack before the fyes!! darn me. force me to study, people. i need a force-r.
emath revision is covered during remedial with my BUDDY.
amath revision - seriously need to buck up.
history and ss - HAVENT STARTED.
physics - three formulas down. electromagnetic spectrum down. what else do i need to learn? oh LOADSSSS. people please give me all the physics formulas you can think of! and i totally do not understand thermal heat thingys. the specific latent heat and all.
biology - need to buck up for transport in man and flowering plants.
chemistry - need to study acids bases and salts. all the rest are okay.
english - dead la. my english has been deproving LOR. dropped from a1 to b3. damn.
chinese - even deader. my chinese dropped from a2 to c5.

PEOPLE!
remind me to
1. burn the cd for the marching music and national anthem
2. print out the certificate for the av thingy
3. finish physics paper and chem worksheet before the teachers come after me
4. study study study!

i am so dead.
i have tottering piles of unfinished worksheets on my table. ok, it's a bit exaggerated, but yea. there's quite a lot to be done. i feel like i'll never finish it. especially chem, since i'm horrible at acids bases and salts. DARN.
and oh. to all whom i got pissed at today - sorry yea. just feeling kinda stressed these few days, since i'm trying to prioritize my time better and at the same time finish all the things i have to do for school. yea.
i forgot to bring my ss book home AGAIN. sheesh. and to take it's the second paper we're taking, and i've yet to study for it. why are my humanities so bad?! i really wanna achieve my goals. hope it won't be another bad case of too high expectations. if not i might really just drop dead in front of all you people. i want at least A2s for all my sciences, A1 for emaths, B4 for amaths, A2s for languages and B4 for humanities. that's all. but i'm glad i did work hard the past few days. i actually made a conscientious effort to finish my homework but i didn't do revision at all. sigh.
i need motivation.

<33>

good news and bad news today.
bad news first. i got a c5 for chinese. yes people, the chinese "pro" got a c5 for chinese. applause please. (: i gotta work harder for my languages. both english and chinese has slipped quite badly this term. sigh.
good news! i got a2 for physics! thanks to our project. i remember being extremely pissed when i needed half a mark to a2 for our ca. LOVE rachel melanie belicia congfen yusi and myself! haha. for our wonderful project. and the equipment is like, still lying under my table. LOL.
i actually finished emaths. but quite tired now, yet still blogging. sheesh. tomorrow is gonna be one busy and tiring day. I CAN DO IT! and when i'm on the bus home, lugging jessica's rollerblades, i will be snoring away.. as usual. for no particular reason, i just get really lethargic around five. that is seriously, WEIRD.
why do i have to be alvina's maths buddy?! DARN IT.

i haven't started on my histograms homework. how dead can i get. tomorrow there's tuition, and after that i'll probably be too distracted fiddling around with jessica's skates. argh. darn. i needa work hard!!
i feel rather pissed. for no particular reason. maybe 'cos i haven't been doing well in a couple of things i ought to be excelling in. sigh. *points at my organ* that's one example. my fiasco-ed organ exam. sigh. sigh. SIGH. )):
on a happier note. i got a2 for emath! again, i think. even if it's not AGAIN, i think it's still a good achievement, as i didn't really score well for the very first spring test and the mr-yong-test upon 25. heh. my only other a2 comes from chemistry. <33 mole! i feel moley-poley today. -.-
okay. today we met mrs ho.. from 3 plus, we wait till 4 plus. now i'm so darn tired from lugging that tortoise around. XP oh ya. WHO OWES ME MONEY!! I'M BROKE!! $2.50 please!! from all you 2e3 peeps out there who agreed to pay!!

darn the rich bitch.

ok. this is gonna be a ranty post. XDD

JEAN IS FINALLY BACK!! <33 my church darling. heh. (alyba -- you're still my darling! my school darling! XP ) i really missed her when she was away for three months. sigh. and guess what? on her first week back, she sabo-ed me. so now i've become a debator or something for guess what? a debate on MARRIAGE. or rather, the sacrament of matrimony. sheesh. jean better make sure she goes for 8.30am service next week and have time to makan with me after that. if not i'm gonna punch her. XDD

you are ONE STUPID RB. sheesh. scare me so many times for what! you get some kind of thrill after seeing my face? weirdo. i so agree with her, you're such a flirt. eww. and you. what's up with all the calls you make to me? am i so nice to talk to? hello. actually i don't give a damn what you do with her. i don't really care anyway. after these few weeks, i find out that i don't really click with you. whatever you say, i only can say "lol", "eww", or "i'm gonna hang up". nothing else. all the stuff you say you did with her grosses me out. i thought you said you thought it was fun? go and HAVE YOUR FUN and leave me alone. you really pissed me off last night.

ok two rantings. but yea. it's 'cos i hafta go now. TAG!

i want a new blogskin. found a pretty one but i want those old fashioned kinds with all the tagboards at the side. so yea, we don't have to scroll up and down too much. but my page will be rather long 'cos i've got plenty of links and tagboards. LOL.
hmm. i've become quite addicted to CDs lately. i bought two the other day, at the pasar malam (haha, i'm cheapskate) for $3.50. really cheap. boney m songs and lord of the rings.. but the lotr one has only two songs from the real soundtrack. the rest of the songs are just thrown in.
borrowed a cd from alliance francais library today. i love dance songs.
i'm sad.

i've decided to run away! at least till my results come out. sigh.
i'm not used to not touching my dear organ. ):
finished bio tys today! and emath graph. WHEE! i didn't do respiration and excretion (chap 9 and 10) for biology, though. haven't even teach finish yet. i need to do notes. can't rely too much on the oh-so-wordy textbook.
i need to start on physics! my lousiest science. haha. then i'll do chem. mole concept is LOVE. <33
ok. i need to start doing the av thingy. tag!

i'm so sorry.
i'm so sorry for disappointing all of you today.
every single one of you who believed in me.
thanks for all the encouragement, but i couldn't do it.
i couldn't play.
i'm sorry.

there's no way to get rid of this pain.

*bangs head against wall*
TOMORROW is the big day.
the day i've practiced so long for.
the day i've been tolerating all the pain and ache for.
the day i've been waiting for, for the chance to get my distinction.
i want my distinction.
i want to work hard.
help me, people!
and of course, i'll place most of my trust in God. he's the best (: and he'll keep me awake and sane and i'll be able to play to my best of the best! i shall remember ms hamidah's words - "the most successful are those who are cold-blooded"

on another note. i haven't been studying much. only using the computer and playing on the organ. sigh. i need to start mugging. the way joanne does her revision really freaks me out. so studious can! my weakest subjects are physics and amaths, so i think i'll start on those, then go to biology then go to chemistry. which is my strongest subject, in a sort of way. (: been maintaining at least a "b" for chemistry. heh.
i've started mapling again.. sheesh.

this is going to be another "i-wanna-bash-myself" posts. if you don't want to read, it's ok.
asdlfja;sdjfa;klsfj! BAHH. i'm so pissed at myself. i hate myself for always losing my temper at the person i appreciate the most within my family. i hate being short tempered at her, for never thanking her for all that she's done for me. i only realized how much i appreciated her presence around me when last night, while waiting up for her, i got all worried. how would i cope without her?
even ballet was such a fiasco today. can't even do echappes at centre. what kind of crap and nonsense is that?! and most of my movements were off balance.. plus today's the last lesson of the term. the new arrangement starts next next week. i'm so gonna miss all the rest of the school.. especially ballet 2. every time i come early for lesson, i see them dancing, i really wanna join them. to see them being taught by kuolaoshi, who smiles all the time, makes stupid jokes (that causes laughter, nevertheless) and teaches them so well. she's going overseas.. and i think i'll miss her a lot. she was always there to help. especially for my back and knee and whatever part i have injured. i'm not exactly looking forward to having class with the advanced class, 'cos i know i'm too lousy. i've always had a weak foundation. my ballet world is gonna crumble sooner or later if i don't work on the foundations now. i don't know what to do la.
exam coming up! today was another dao-mei day to practice. can't even play celebration properly. maybe it was because of my mood yesterday.. i was so darned angry and frustrated and pissed that it really hurt inside. and i wanted to do something! but i couldn't. 'cos i made a promise to God, i promised him i wouldn't do it until at least my organ exam was over. how i wish i could do it. now.
BAHH.

argh. kinda pissed now. the stupid data cable for my motorola refuses to work. so there's like no way to transfer files from the comp to my phone or vice versa. GWARR.
on a happier note. today my teacher said my repertoire "celebration" basic technique was much better! i'm so happy! hope i haven't peaked yet. so that i can really play to my best on thursday. i still haven't moved my butt to play improvisation yet, people.. MOTIVATE ME!
french went rather uneventfully. 'cos no more yuchuan.. she took two terms off to study for her o levels. that reminds me of how close the fyes are, how close the o levels are.. but i'm glad that i actually managed to sit down and do maths for one hour today. i have my stoichiometry worksheet in front of me now, but yea.. i'm not moving a single finger. YET. ><

you've disappointed me time and time again.
but i've always been hopeful.
hopeful that whatever you've said is true.
i'm waiting!

ok i think i've a record number of posts for today. hardly ever go on such a blogging spree. but anyway.
people, motivate me to study!! or else i would fail the finals and i'll have to be retained and i'll lose all my friends ): SO YEA! MOTIVATE ME! find some way! haha.
goodness gracious, i wanted to blog about something but i forgot what. darn.
oh wait i remember! it's about the organ exam.
so monday probably practice at 4pm, then tuesday and wednesday from 6pm onwards, and thursday from 11am onwards. wish me luck, everyone! now's the time to chiong! especially for my improvisation. i desperately need to learn my double notes.
i need motivation.
i need inspiration.
i need determination.
i need perserverance.
i need buttache relievers.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!
tribute to teachers (:

ms ho - it was so long before i realized you were actually giving tons of homework for our own good. thanks for the bunch of worksheets and answers which taught me how to do mole ((:

mr see - thanks for being the ever-silent co-fm. XP

mdm lenny - rubik's cube? JIAYOU! you can solve it! (: just .. ask me for help! MUAHAHA! XDD

bluecactus (: - thanks for being the wonderful lady always there! with weird motivating messages (i bet you get it from all the weird courses you go for) for any case of complaint you might get from me. heh.

mrs ngin - thanks for being the lookalike to my junior and the person who tolerates my stupid questions in bio. and the stupid answers i give to recap questions.

mr yong - NO THANKS TO DITCHING US LAST PERIOD OF LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! GWARR.

mrs ang - nice baby! thanks for .. teaching us amath and keeping us awake. and not losing your temper with us (:

that's about it for now. if there's anyone whom i left out and i think of later, i'll add them in.

(EDIT)

ms lim - thanks for being the person who laughs at me with your inseparable friend ms lee.

ms lee - thanks for being ANOTHER person who laughs at me with your inseparable friend ms lim.

mdm surayah - being the great teacher who hasn't returned us our compre papers yet, and the one and only who HAD to accuse me of cheating in a test.. you didn't get a present from me. but i'm still nice enough to say .. HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

(/EDIT)

IVY-
tkgs, cjc, nus
240591
buddy (:

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