Friday, April 27, 2007 @10:06 PM
i just realized how much deep rubbish i'll be in, if that didn't happen. God does work in weird ways.
@7:47 AM
tequila, jupiter, mickey's toontown, funiculi funicula, londonderry air, pomp and circumstance, just the way you are, my life, honesty. how many songs is that? and i couldn't play a single one well. especially the billy joel songs. ROARR. i feel very retarded now luh. how many years have i been playing the organ??
major midyears coming up in three days. i need to study harder, but i can't stand it la! this studying thing that i'm forcing on myself just because i need my grades has really killed my passion for certain subjects. i still love chem and bio, my physics is rotting away. and i'm terrified of failing my history. everytime i look at my history notes, i get reminded of my disastrous ss paper. if i fail humanities again, i think my humanities teachers are gonna punch my ass off, and my brother's gonna kick my head off.
i want to go for ballet luh!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 @5:24 AM
i wish i could just tear myself apart, i'm sure it'll be better than this pain. ARGH.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 @3:49 AM
yes, i gave my parents attitude this morning. i was pissed. for once, i wished they would leave me alone when i was sick. i'm sorry for wrecking your special day, all because i was pissed with your care.
the silent, empty house. it's better than the silent house. imagine if the roof had really fallen on my parents' heads. i would have just died if i came back from tuition to a silent house with two fainted people in the kitchen.
ok ignore me, i should be with my books.
Sunday, April 22, 2007 @7:08 AM
my throat hurts.
my nose hurts.
i haven't finished studying for ss.
i haven't started on history elective.
i have only one humanities.
i should just go and die.
Thursday, April 19, 2007 @7:00 AM
i am so dead for the midyears. i am so dead for the midyears. i am SO DEAD for the midyears. someone, punch me. argh. i need to get back on track. and i have NO idea why i'm off track. this sucks.
the feeling of calmness that enveloped me yesterday has evaporated today. i lost control of myself again. sorry to all. ><
WHERE IS MY FRIEND? ):
Saturday, April 14, 2007 @4:19 AM
it has been a hectic week. and a not very productive week.. but oh well.
the past week:
monday - tuition. tuesday - ss remedial. wednesday - tennis. thursday - tuition. friday - FREE!
upcoming week:
monday - tuition. tuesday - FREE! wednesday - rio tinto thingy? thursday - FREE! friday - FREE!
for now, anyway. wish i could make it for mass one of the days. feel more comfortable there anyway. and won't wanna return home early on tuesday and wednesday. to a silent, empty house. sometimes, i wonder whether a silent, empty house is better or just a silent house. and i wonder how i would be now, what state i would be in, if it didn't happen.
a friend said a couple of days ago that the way i behave doesn't reflect any problems at all, and that if the same thing had happened to her, she'd be crying all the way. in the affirmation notes that we wrote to our classmates the other time, another friend said that i live like i've got no worries. another one said i was bubbly. and a teacher said i'm so positive, it's hard to imagine me down about anything.
personally, i don't know how i do it. i guess it's just this thing in me which refuses to allow me to be sad, and doesn't allow me to be pissed at anyone for long either. (: it's good right?
In sleep he sang to me In dreams he came That voice which calls to me And speaks my name And do I dream again? For now I find The phantom of the opera is there, Inside my mindyes, i miss an old friend. thinking of the times which we could have had, if you hadn't gone away. if you hadn't quit.
i'm not saying anything anymore, not 'cos i don't trust you, but because it'll drag everything back up again.
Friday, April 13, 2007 @7:46 AM
i no need to think, already know i'm the most retarded person on the earth.
who else can fall asleep while trying to do homework, plan to sleep for half an hour and can't wake up two hours later?
ME.
now i have to hurry up finish my homework. speech day tomorrow, will be busy most of the day even though organ's been cancelled. the teachers gave us mountains of homework this weekend. many many past year papers to do. chinese, chem, amaths is coming up.. i need to kickstart my ss revision, like, NOW. ss paper is in 12 days time and i haven't started studying! at this rate, i'll just fail my o's.
Thursday, April 12, 2007 @8:10 AM
sorry to anyone whom i got pissed at today.
Monday, April 09, 2007 @7:50 AM
i should focus and get started on my chem.
still feeling all weird inside.
Saturday, April 07, 2007 @10:03 PM
can't you see i'm holding them in?
stop making me feel stretched.
are you gonna wait for the dam to burst before you finally realize i have emotions too?
i'm never gonna make it through ballet like this.
just some random phrases:
POST EASTER BLUES. (i feel so retarded.)
i cannot do the amaths paper.
Friday, April 06, 2007 @3:54 AM
this year's performing SYFs are getting closer and closer. first up, band. go tkgssb! we'll all support you even though we can't be there. you're a great band (: you can do it! heehee.
reading about syf makes me think about primary school. the two syfs that i went through. i mean, nowadays i really miss performing. i miss performances at ppas, i miss performances in primary school. even though, well, it was PRIMARY school.
i remember getting appendicities end of p4 (or was it p5?), and still being able to make it for syf. i remember all the assemblies that we didn't go for as a cca group and rushing to class after practices.
i remember trying to split in the dance studio.
i remember doing the bridge thingy. and the minibridge.
i remember the leg swinging thingy.
i remember odyssey of the mind, in p5.
i remember rushing around school for it, receiving my trophy and then almost slipping down the steps of the hall like a typical klutz.
i remember performances that ppas organized for us.
i remember giving flowers to mr ashton and trying to attract his attention.
i remember rain dance and my purple dress. and my terror at going on pointe.
i remember being horrified that i was actually hunchback.
i remember 2105 planet o.
i remember the many practices that we had, all on soft shoes.
i remember the times we tried to fix our wings. fairymonsters are cool.
i remember how i accidentally burnt myself with a broken lightbulb while trying to apply eyeliner.
i just miss performing.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007 @6:25 AM
it's called,
getting harder to smile.
DON'T BICKER OKAY! i promised to not lose my temper at anyone this week because it's the holy week! i'm gonna be nice and hold my temper in! AHHHH.
the newest word is FOCUS.
Monday, April 02, 2007 @7:39 AM
argh.
blogger killed my post again.
and it was a long one, on the poor toddler (about 3 year old girl) being flipped by her dad on the bus in a bid to stop her crying.
and the free wake up calls i'm providing.
