Wednesday, January 30, 2008 @7:17 AM
argh my temper is so difficult to control. have to literally bite my tongue to stop myself from saying hurtful things to one of the people i admire and appreciate the most.
it kinda hurts to see all the things people say to rebutt what she says, and i can't do anything about it. that hurts the most. wanting to defend her but knowing that whatever you say probably won't have an effect at all 'cos you're the youngest.
its saddening to see her all moody. she loves you so much, you don't see it do you? she told me how much she wanted to come home just to see how you are, how you're coping through all that you had to go through. no one allowed her to.
she said, she had to stay at home. tv for company, and occasionally the uncle. she goes out on mondays and thursdays, but the rest of the days she stays home. she does the same things everyday. she said she pined to be back here.
why don't we all treat her better? why not all chip in instead of me trying to make this humungous effort to make her happy? why not finally notice the sadness on her face?
courage. every pe lesson relates back to me immediately.
Sunday, January 27, 2008 @7:11 AM
see, evidence i grew fatter. i tore my tights today. ):
Saturday, January 26, 2008 @9:17 AM
i hope that
you, you and you are fine. and that you are happy up there.
Monday, January 21, 2008 @5:09 AM
yep, the world went back to tkgs for cca promo day while i stayed home. really wish i went back.. will have met a lot of people i haven't seen for ages! people like the kids, alvie and the rest, and maybe some teachers too. ):
pe was almost a killer today. add a phobia of heights with a phobia of grand stand, and 25 sets of the torture, and you will get a very tired and timid ivy. but, i'm glad i persevered (: and finished them all!
results will be out on thursday. nervous. >< i tell you, if i see a 6 on my form A, i will just go crazy hopping around trying to find out which subject its for. and i do hope i don't have to go for PE again before going back! haha.
for all the times you stood by me
for all the truth that you made me see
for all the joy you brought to my life
for all the wrong that you made right
Friday, January 11, 2008 @7:14 AM
the people in my class are darn smart. most of them come in with 10s, 11s and 12s for raw scores. i think there was one single digit. and many of them got distinctions for their amaths. which kinda explains how dejected and low i feel now. being in a class of smarties, and being so dumb and lazy. AND, i actually feel that the new syllabus is difficult. am i just stupid or what.
hmm. on the other hand, being in a smart class might push me to work harder. and maybe by the time july comes, i'd actually have made real friends which i can get help for schwork from.
anyhows, school has been better. but today i was talking with rents about schools and all and i sort of got pissed and all. 'cos we were talking about how being in sajc would cause me to be attacked more about faith. not like i'm not being attacked where i am now. but people do ask.
i went back to tk today, finally. felt so at home there, sitting outside the staffroom again, where we all used to hang out. met up with some teachers, but some went back already. and one lost her voice. XD get well, mdm tan! hope to go back again next week since chances are that i can't make it for cca promo. damn, i wanted to get more people to join av. saw many people in tk - nat, nat, alyssa, jamie, mimsy, aa's sister, fiona betty and the exco, and talked with most of them. i even had juniors whom i've never talked to before, coming up to me to talk. they recognize me, and (paiseh) i don't. ><
i miss all my classmates, my tennisers, my exco, the guas, fellow ppas-ians. hope to get back to ballet this weekend. let it be some kind of a preparation for my audition. i have to get in.
for all those times you stood by me
for all the truth that you made me see
for all the joy you brought to my life
for all the wrong that you made right
for every dream you made come true
for all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008 @5:19 AM
orientation was ok i guess. one more day to go tmr. gonna be a tiring one at that, even though i'm not boating.
i really, really wanna boat.
canoeing might be fun.
cj's ok. just waiting for my turn to shine. (:
miss tk and friends many.
Friday, January 04, 2008 @5:03 AM
maybe after that looong chat by my mom on friends and all..
i just hope i'll learn to adapt. (:
and after all, i got the weekends to look forward to with yc. ((:
yay for things which brighten up my day.
ITS THE WEEKEND!
and i pray my cca problem will be fixed!
