Sunday, March 25, 2007 @6:43 AM
i am feeling VERY upside-down now.
it's not like i need to spend every living moment studying. i don't even know where to go, what to study, where i wanna go in life, what i want to be. must you do everything? must you leave nothing to me? i am still a human, and i am part of her too. i want to help too. the reason why i'm doing so bad is NOT 'cos i've got no time to study, it's 'cos i can't find my way around anymore. i can't find anything to push towards. i can't feel anymore. i'm holding the keys in my hand, you insist on locking up. am i so useless, so dumb, so stupid, that i can't even lock the door? i'm not comfortable around any of you anymore, and i have no idea why. maybe it's because of the two incidents that happened a couple of months ago. still can't believe that you can just use words like that on me. i mean, i'm not exactly pissed with you or anything for using those on me. but to think that that's what we call people who are really bad, and you used them on me. and you. i feel so awkward around you now. spent so long trying to build up my trust again, and i'm back to square one. what rubbish have i been trying to create for the past years man. i should have just given up.
